Afraid to Speak?

Have you ever spent so long preparing a sentence in a foreign language that you missed your chance to say it?

First, you choose the words. Then you check the verb. You wonder if you need a preposition. You worry about the pronunciation. You start again.

Meanwhile, the person in front of you has already ordered, paid and caught the bus.

And you are still working on your first sentence.

This October, at Cassano Academy, we are exploring speaking. We started with our first words. Then we looked at why knowing words is not enough: we need to use them.

Now we meet a different problem.

What if we know the words, but we are afraid to say them?

The perfect sentence that nobody hears

Imagine you are in a café in another country.

You want to ask for a glass of water. You know the word “water”. You also know “please”. But then the questions begin:

“Should I say ‘I would like’?”

“What if I use the wrong article?”

“What if they answer me?”

That last question is interesting: we want to start a conversation, but we hope the other person will not say too much.

In the end, we point at the glass and smile.

Gestures can help us communicate. The problem begins when we always use them to avoid saying the few words we already know.

The perfect sentence in our head has not asked anyone for anything yet.

A simple sentence, even with a mistake, may get us some water.

As children, we did not wait to learn every verb

A child does not wait to learn all the articles, verb forms and grammar rules before asking for something.

Children use what they have: a word, a sound, a gesture, an attempt.

When a child wants a biscuit, the aim is not to show perfect grammar.

The aim is to get the biscuit.

Learning a language as an adult is different from learning our first language. But we can learn something useful from children: speak to do something, not only to show what we have studied.

Ask for information. Tell a short story. Make someone smile. Find out where to go.

When we have a clear reason to speak, language becomes a useful tool, not just a school subject.

A mistake does not mean the conversation has failed

Imagine a student says:

“Yesterday I go to the market.”

The past form is wrong. The correct sentence is:

“Yesterday I went to the market.”

But we can understand the message: the student went to the market yesterday.

Both things are true:

• the sentence has a mistake;

• the student has communicated some information.

We can encourage students and help them learn at the same time.

We can listen to the story, help with the verb and let the student continue.

A mistake is something to work on, not a reason to stop speaking.

Of course, some mistakes matter more than others. Some change the meaning or make the message difficult to understand. That is why it helps to check that the other person understands us.

A conversation gives us chances to explain and try again.

If you cannot remember a word, try another way

We often stop because we think there is only one way to say something.

We want to explain that we forgot our umbrella, but we cannot remember the word umbrella.

Is the conversation over?

Not always.

We can say:

“It’s for the rain… You hold it over your head.”

It may not be the best description, but it can help the other person say:

“An umbrella?”

And now the word has a real situation around it.

We can describe:

• what we use an object for;

• what it looks like;

• where it is;

• what we do with it.

Not knowing one word does not mean we have nothing more to say.

Sometimes we just need a longer way to say it.

You do not need to become a different person

When we speak a foreign language, we may feel less funny, less clear or less interesting than we are in our own language.

Inside our head, we have a detailed idea.

But what comes out is:

“Good. Very good. Yes.”

This can be frustrating. But our personality has not disappeared.

We simply do not yet have all the words we need to express it.

We do not need to pretend to be experts. We can say:

“I’m still learning.”

Or:

“Let me try again.”

These simple sentences help us stay in the conversation. We can be honest about what we know and still take part.

Being brave does not mean having no fear

Waiting until we feel completely ready can become a reason to keep waiting.

Instead, we can choose a small step that feels possible.

We do not have to begin with a difficult phone call or a discussion in front of ten people.

We can start with a question we have prepared, a short voice message or a few sentences with someone who is happy to listen.

The aim does not have to be:

“Today I will speak without making mistakes.”

Try this instead:

“Today I will say something that I was too afraid to say yesterday.”

This is a clear goal. And we can see when we have reached it.

Share your message, then look at the sentence again

In an informal conversation, checking every word as we speak can make us forget what we wanted to say.

Try using two different moments.

During the conversation, focus on your message. What do you want to say? Does the other person understand? Do you need to explain it another way?

After the conversation, choose one thing to improve: a missing word, a verb or a sound.

You do not need to turn every attempt into a list of twenty problems.

If you told someone about your day and learnt how to say “I missed the bus”, you already have something useful for your next conversation.

Speaking correctly matters. We can also improve by looking again at what we tried to say.

A little practice: thirty seconds of speaking

Choose a simple question:

What did you do today?

What do you like cooking?

Where would you like to go?

Record an answer of about thirty seconds in the language you are learning.

The first time, try to finish without starting again after every mistake.

Then listen and ask yourself:

1. Is the message clear?

2. Where did I get stuck?

3. What one thing can I improve?

Find the word or information you need and record a second version.

Keep the first recording too, so you can hear what has changed.

The Cassano Academy challenge

This week, choose one small activity that involves speaking the language you are learning.

You could ask a question in class, send a voice message or tell a short story without reading a prepared text.

Prepare three useful sentences:

• one to begin;

• one to ask for help;

• one to try again.

For example:

“Can I ask you something?”

“How do you say…?”

“Let me try again.”

At the end, do not only count your mistakes.

Also ask yourself:

What did I manage to say?

We do not need to wait until we speak well before we begin.

We need to begin, keep listening and keep learning. This helps us find better ways to make ourselves understood.

Even an unsure voice has something to say.

FAQ